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I Am Jane Doe: What Shame Was Never Ours to Carry
In trauma work, we talk about the freeze response as if it were a failure of courage. It is not. Freeze is the nervous system doing the only thing available when fight and flight are not safe. For many girls, that shutdown is then read as consent, politeness, or proof that nothing really happened. The…
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The Quiet Ache of Waiting: When Seeds Refuse to Bloom
If a watched pot never boils, maybe the real miracle isn’t the boil itself but insted, the fact that I had a enough courage and trust to put it on the stove at all. No fanfare. No guarantee. Just the soft pop of trust saying: I did enough to start. Every now and then I…
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“I Don’t Love You Anymore”
No-Contact with Parents: A Gentle Exploration of Distance, Healing, and the Space Between Us That’s what some people hear when an adult child chooses no-contact, but it’s rarely the truth, at least not in the deepest sense. More often, it’s this: I have finally learned to love myself, my soul, my peace a little more,…
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Spillways
It’s okay to cry. Crying creates self-awareness, carving out space for our authentic selves. Yet, we hide our tears so often, don’t we? From our children, our spouses, sometimes even our closest friends. Yet, when it comes to laughter, we don’t hide, we laugh freely, wholeheartedly, with our entire bodies, unashamed and oblivious to the…
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The Importance of Equality in Blended Family Systems
In today’s world, blended families (also known as stepfamilies) are increasingly common. With divorce rates, remarriages, and new partnerships on the rise, many households include children from previous relationships alongside new ones. While these families can be rich with love and opportunity, they often face unique challenges, particularly when it comes to extended family dynamics.…
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The Longing Beneath the Quiet: On Missing Friendship at Midlife
I turned 45 this year, and in the stillness that follows such milestones, something became clear: painfully, undeniably clear. I don’t really have friends anymore. The one who truly knew me, the one I could call when the night felt too vast and heavy, left this world in 2024. Now the voices I hear most…
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My Body Is a Vessel
This morning I woke up thinking about my body. Specifically my body as a vessel. When I get into my car I do not become the car. I experience the ride as a passenger. I do not “feel” the car’s gas tank level. I do not “feel” the engine, the tires on the road’s surface.…
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The Reciprocity Trap
I’m at my kitchen table, the one with late night talks, family time and stories etched into its grain. It’s 2020, and I’m writing my second letter of the week to my son, who’s grinding through boot camp. The world feels heavy, with the pandemic and politics swirling, but these letters are my way of…
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The Magic in the Mess: Sourdough, Soul Friends, and the Cosmic Dance
I’m kneading sourdough bagel dough in my quiet kitchen, and my heart is breaking. Amanda, my Anam Cara, my soul friend, should be here, flour on her nose and probably all over my clothes, laughing at our lumpy attempts, her voice and our laughter filling the silence with that easy, real warmth only she had.…
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Finding Myself Beyond the Duel: Embracing Who I Am Without Dividing the Whole
I’ve been thinking about Hamilton lately (I just watched in Syracuse this week)—about Alexander Hamilton’s relentless drive to prove himself and Aaron Burr’s cautious waiting for the right moment. Both feel wrong to me, like they’re caught in a trap of division I don’t want to fall into. There’s this pressure to pick a side,…
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I’m Not Lucky, Privileged, or Blessed.
I’m Not Lucky, Privileged, or Blessed. In a world quick to label our lives with words like “lucky,” “privileged,” or “blessed,” I’ve come to realize those terms don’t sit right with me. They hand over the reins of my story to something outside myself—chance, society, or a higher power. But life isn’t a lottery ticket,…
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You Matter Too: Rebuilding Connection in a Fractured World
The world is loud. It screams at us through screens, wars raging, ice caps melting, economies teetering, and voices clashing in endless debates. It’s enough to make your heart race, your shoulders slump, and your own life feel like a whisper in a hurricane. In the face of all that, it’s easy to think your…
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A Candid Discussion About My Weight
It’s hard to pinpoint an exact beginning but here goes: I had battled endometriosis since my early twenties resulting in 10 pregnancies and 8 of those resulting in the loss of very wanted babies. I am so blessed to have had my 3 boys (twins and a singleton). The pain, the agony and the stress…
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15 lessons I’ve learned the hard way. Part 2
1. If you’ve developed a gluten allergy, not even cake is worth the pain it creates if you eat it. 2. One of the hardest things in life is realizing that sometimes those you love the most have to grow where you can’t see them. 3. Let’s be honest, you’ll try to keep up with…
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Doctor of Behavioral Health
Surprise! I’m getting a doctorate! I think I’ve known all my life that I wanted to be a doctor but I never found my “Cinderella” to my slipper until now. I have completed the grueling task of application, submissions, interviews and have been accepted into the Doctorate of Behavioral Health program at Cummings Graduate Institute.…
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Best Self
Your best Self develops from a deep understanding of who are you and how that compares with who you want to me. How can we be our best possible Self? When I say best possible Self I’m talking about you becoming the best version of yourself. How often do we really analyze who we are?…
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Privilege or Position?
We hear a lot about privilege lately in regards to people who are privileged. We are being conditioned to regard privilege as something that was automatically given to a person or a groups of people based on social caste or skin color. We have been told that because someone is lighter skinned they automatically have…
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Anxiety Cake
I’m anxious. I’m a pretty levelheaded person even if it takes me a minute, I can usually pinpoint the source of my anxiety and use different techniques to calm myself and I’m mostly successful in processing it. For the past few days, I find myself reaching deep into my arsenal of techniques to try to…
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Dear Moms and Dads
In my current position I get to be with your kids. Let me just start off my saying that I am truly honored to be in the presence of such amazing humans. Your children are bright, brave, and carry a strength with them that has the potential to go on and change the world. They…
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Something
I’ve written several well thought out and wonderful blogs over the course of the past week, in my bed, in my head, and in the early morning hours. I’ve promised myself every single time that I would remember exactly what I intended to say but when I finally do find my thoughts quiet enough to…
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Letting Go
Letting go is sometimes less painful than holding on. It’s a common phrase we’ve all heard a time or two in our lives. How could letting go of something, knowing that it will find it’s way out of your life be less painful than holding on to something that we want? If you can imagine…
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This doesn’t feel right.
I’ve been wondering something about myself. Sometimes I get this feeling inside of myself that says simply “this doesn’t feel right”. It happens in all kinds of situations. So I’m presently processing the difference between my comfort level and my intuition. I’d like to know the difference. I was with someone who was a friend…
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Help, I need to write
I need to write. I need you to help me write. Give me ideas of what to write about. Family, marriage, kids, bills, anxiety, stressful situations or a little light humor! Send me some suggestions! I’ll keep it anonymous! presentlyprocessing@gmail.com
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Dear Ex-Best Friend
You hurt me. I’m only writing this to get it off of my chest because I have been reeling for months. The emotional ups and downs I have been experiencing are like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. You abandoned me at a time when I needed a friend the most and for…
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How to Break Your Own Heart: A recipe for disaster
If you’ve every wondered how you can break your own heart I think I’ve found the perfect DIY recipe. I once heard a saying that went something like; “the biggest cause of problems in relationships in unmet expectations”. I think this is absolutely true and to take it a step further I’d like to add;…